This is a funny story my friend Andy sent me. Andy is an Ohio native who’s been living in South Carolina with his wife, Debbie. He calls the story “Southern Experience.”
This is a true story. An experience I had yesterday while out of town on business. There is no way I could make it up. Follow closely.
A few weeks ago while in Northern North Carolina, I passed through a small town called Ayden. It was no more than a cross roads with a traffic light. That same evening after arriving home, I was watching the Food Channel and a feature story came on about “Barbeque”. The final 10 minutes of the program was about a restaurant that was in this town of Ayden. It was known as the barbeque capitol of the world. I thought what a shame as I missed the chance to eat there. I figured my next trip to that area would include a stop there. Yesterday I happened to pass the same town at around lunch time and decided what a good time to find this place and enjoy a good lunch there. Here’s what happened.
Without knowing the name of this restaurant, I assumed everyone would know it and direct me to it. I stopped at a small mom and pop type convenience store to ask directions Inside was a rather large gal perched on a stool behind the counter. I asked for directions and her response was, “wait a minute, I’ll get Luther, he knows everything around here. Hey Luther, come here this young feller needs directions.” When she opened her mouth I realized she was the poster child for the saying “nice tooth.” Luther came from the back room dressed in his bib overalls, dirty tee shirt and was tote’n a cup where he was spittin his chew.
The conversation went this way and I quote it the best I could.
Luther: Whatcha need sonny? ( sonny? he was maybe 10 years younger than me)
Andy: I am looking for the famous barbeque restaurant here, can you help me?
Luther: You mean Johnnies?
Andy; I don’t know the name of it, sorry.
Luther; We’ll, y’all just go down this here road to the crossroads and turn this way.
(from his motion I figured he meant turn left)
Luther; You go all the way on out there.
Andy; All the way out there?
Luther; Yepper, all the way.
Andy; How far is it?
Luther; It’s a furr piece on out there.
Andy; Oh, OK. (I’ll play your silly game)
Andy; How will I know when I get there?
Luther; Well, y’all will know.
Andy; OK, I guess you can smell the barbeque then?
Luther; Oh garsh no! It smells like a dag gummed pig farm!
Luther; Heck, there’s a sign out there.
Andy; So the name is on it?
Luther; Don’t rightly know, t’aint seen it in years. ( obviously back when he could read maybe)
Andy; OK my friend, I’ll find it. (turned to walk out)
Luther; Y’all have a good day now.
I left and started my journey to the restaurant. It was no more than two miles and truthfully when I got there I knew I found the right place. The ole guy who ran this place (I remembered from the Food Channel) had taken it upon himself to award himself the title of barbeque capitol of the world”. He added to the roof of this building an exact duplicate of the capitol building in Washington DC including the flag flying out of the top of the dome. I had arrived. I had lunch (a huge plate of barbequed pork, cole slaw and something he called bread, no idea what it was but it could be used as armor plate by the military). All this for $4.50. Fantastic!
I took pictures with my cam/phone but they were not clear enough to add to this, so you need to trust me on it.
The only thing missing from this experience was the banjo playing the music from “Deliverance”
I thought you’d enjoy a good laugh today. I know I did yesterday.