Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-settings.php on line 512

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-settings.php on line 527

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-settings.php on line 534

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-settings.php on line 570

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Page::start_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::start_lvl(&$output) in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1199

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Page::end_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::end_lvl(&$output) in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1199

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Page::start_el() should be compatible with Walker::start_el(&$output) in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1199

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Page::end_el() should be compatible with Walker::end_el(&$output) in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1199

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_PageDropdown::start_el() should be compatible with Walker::start_el(&$output) in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1244

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Category::start_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::start_lvl(&$output) in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1391

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Category::end_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::end_lvl(&$output) in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1391

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Category::start_el() should be compatible with Walker::start_el(&$output) in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1391

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Category::end_el() should be compatible with Walker::end_el(&$output) in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1391

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_CategoryDropdown::start_el() should be compatible with Walker::start_el(&$output) in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1442

Strict Standards: Redefining already defined constructor for class wpdb in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 306

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/cache.php on line 103

Strict Standards: Redefining already defined constructor for class WP_Object_Cache in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/cache.php on line 431

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/query.php on line 61

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/theme.php on line 1109

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Comment::start_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::start_lvl(&$output) in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/comment-template.php on line 1266

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Comment::end_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::end_lvl(&$output) in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/comment-template.php on line 1266

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Comment::start_el() should be compatible with Walker::start_el(&$output) in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/comment-template.php on line 1266

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Comment::end_el() should be compatible with Walker::end_el(&$output) in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/comment-template.php on line 1266

Strict Standards: Redefining already defined constructor for class WP_Dependencies in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/class.wp-dependencies.php on line 31

Strict Standards: Redefining already defined constructor for class WP_Http in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/http.php on line 61

Warning: session_start(): Cannot send session cookie - headers already sent by (output started at /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-settings.php:512) in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-content/plugins/wordpress-automatic-upgrade/wordpress-automatic-upgrade.php on line 119

Warning: session_start(): Cannot send session cache limiter - headers already sent (output started at /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-settings.php:512) in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-content/plugins/wordpress-automatic-upgrade/wordpress-automatic-upgrade.php on line 119

Strict Standards: Redefining already defined constructor for class ftp_base in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-content/plugins/wordpress-automatic-upgrade/lib/ftp_class.php on line 56

Strict Standards: Redefining already defined constructor for class ftp in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-content/plugins/wordpress-automatic-upgrade/lib/ftp_class_sockets.php on line 8
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Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

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Commentary 02 Apr 2011 05:47 pm

All your relationship questions answered

dear-shabby

Here is this week’s column, published March 31 in The Alliance Review:

This week, quiet and unassuming columnist Chris Schillig steps aside and allows Shabigail “Shabby” Van Buren, misogynistic half-brother of Dear Abby, to answer readers’ questions. Those who are easily offended are warned to turn directly to the comics page and read “Garfield,” instead.

Dear Shabby: My wife likes to watch romantic comedies, while I like movies where the main characters shoot, stab, beat, cheat and steal their way through the plot. How can we compromise? — Anxious in Atwater

Dear Anxious: I have a two-word answer: “Black Swan.” Your wife will love your sensitivity when you tell her it’s a movie about ballet, and by the time she realizes it’s as hardcore as the kind of films she usually writes off as grossly inappropriate, you’ll have been treated to all the things you like about movies, including a few intense cat fights, if you know what I mean. It’s a slam-dunk, I promise.

* * *

Dear Shabby: My significant other wants me to wear preppy clothing. I’m a manly man, and I like my flannel and denim exclusively. How can I tell her no without alienating her? — Badly Dressed in Beloit

Dear Badly Dressed: You can’t. Before you take a stand, however, ask yourself if it’s a battle you need to win, and if it’s worth the risk of washing, drying and ironing your own clothes for a few weeks while your live-in maid goes on strike. (For the uninformed in my audience, which would be most men, ironing is an ancient ritual that involves running a hot appliance over clothing to eliminate wrinkles, usually before the clothing is on one’s body.)

If not, go ahead and put on some cutie-pie pants and matching shirt. You can always accidentally-on-purpose spill salsa or motor oil on them to avoid a second wearing. This is called compromise.

* * *

Dear Shabby: My neighbors keep their yard pristine all year ’round. Even the snow stays white on their property long after it turns brown and yellow everywhere else. My yard, by contrast, is a little more … lived in. How can I convince my wife that we’re not the Cleavers and that I have no interest in doing much more than knocking down the weeds when they overgrow the second story? — Unkempt in Kent

Dear Unkempt: Shabby can relate. His own yard is mowed on the stopwatch method: the only thing that matters is beating his time from the week before. If you can afford professional lawn care — even if it means cutting back on the home brewery supplies — have it done and absolve yourself of all that work. Otherwise, you could always turf the neighbor’s yard late at night, making it look even worse than yours, but that risks police involvement, always a no-no. The most cost-effective solution is to buy a pair of noise-canceling headphones to help you ignore the brickbats from your spouse while your yard sprouts any number of rare and exotic weeds this spring and summer.

* * *

Dear Shabby: My wife wants me to babysit the kids while she goes to the grocery store. Should I? — Scandalized in Sebring

Dear Scandalized: First of all, it’s not called “babysitting” when they’re your kids. It’s called “raising.” Even Shabby knows that. Don’t watch the kids. In the long run, it’ll be better for them if they have as little contact with you as possible.

Chris Schillig, who in real life is nothing like the boorish Shabby (except for lawn care), invites people to follow him on Twitter (@cschillig).

E-mail chris.schillig@yahoo.com.

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