Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-settings.php on line 512

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-settings.php on line 527

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-settings.php on line 534

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-settings.php on line 570

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Page::start_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::start_lvl(&$output) in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1199

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Page::end_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::end_lvl(&$output) in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1199

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Page::start_el() should be compatible with Walker::start_el(&$output) in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1199

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Page::end_el() should be compatible with Walker::end_el(&$output) in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1199

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_PageDropdown::start_el() should be compatible with Walker::start_el(&$output) in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1244

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Category::start_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::start_lvl(&$output) in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1391

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Category::end_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::end_lvl(&$output) in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1391

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Category::start_el() should be compatible with Walker::start_el(&$output) in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1391

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Category::end_el() should be compatible with Walker::end_el(&$output) in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1391

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_CategoryDropdown::start_el() should be compatible with Walker::start_el(&$output) in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/classes.php on line 1442

Strict Standards: Redefining already defined constructor for class wpdb in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/wp-db.php on line 306

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/cache.php on line 103

Strict Standards: Redefining already defined constructor for class WP_Object_Cache in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/cache.php on line 431

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/query.php on line 61

Deprecated: Assigning the return value of new by reference is deprecated in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/theme.php on line 1109

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Comment::start_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::start_lvl(&$output) in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/comment-template.php on line 1266

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Comment::end_lvl() should be compatible with Walker::end_lvl(&$output) in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/comment-template.php on line 1266

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Comment::start_el() should be compatible with Walker::start_el(&$output) in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/comment-template.php on line 1266

Strict Standards: Declaration of Walker_Comment::end_el() should be compatible with Walker::end_el(&$output) in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/comment-template.php on line 1266

Strict Standards: Redefining already defined constructor for class WP_Dependencies in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/class.wp-dependencies.php on line 31

Strict Standards: Redefining already defined constructor for class WP_Http in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/http.php on line 61

Warning: session_start(): Cannot send session cookie - headers already sent by (output started at /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-settings.php:512) in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-content/plugins/wordpress-automatic-upgrade/wordpress-automatic-upgrade.php on line 119

Warning: session_start(): Cannot send session cache limiter - headers already sent (output started at /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-settings.php:512) in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-content/plugins/wordpress-automatic-upgrade/wordpress-automatic-upgrade.php on line 119

Strict Standards: Redefining already defined constructor for class ftp_base in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-content/plugins/wordpress-automatic-upgrade/lib/ftp_class.php on line 56

Strict Standards: Redefining already defined constructor for class ftp in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-content/plugins/wordpress-automatic-upgrade/lib/ftp_class_sockets.php on line 8
» What if Dr. Seuss wrote horror?
Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1003

Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /home/dixcom/blogs.dixcdn.com/leftofcybercenter/wp-includes/kses.php on line 1002

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Media & Uncategorized 23 Jul 2008 04:51 am

What if Dr. Seuss wrote horror?

If Dr. Seuss ever rhymed a horror story for kids, the results might look and sound like this:

Frankula

In Frankenstein’s window flew a vampire bat.

He turned into a man and hung up his hat.

“Dracula’s the name, from Transylvania way,

I need a transfusion, and I’m willing to pay.”

 

But the good doctor was out at the body parts store

He wasn’t expected back until four.

This Dracula learned from Frankenstein’s daughter,

A scientist, too, just like her father.

She put down her tools — a bolt and some nuts –
And opened the fridge for some prime-beef cuts,
Which she put in a blender and shot full of juice
(The electrical kind, enough to knock out a moose).

She gave the potion to the old vampire,
Who knocked it back quick, then began to perspire.
“What’s in this concoction?” he asked with a start,
“It’s so full of lightning it made my hair part.”

“It’s a little something I made off the cuff
To cure you of all this blood-drinking stuff.
You’re effectively healed of your crimson addiction
So you can give up all that maiden-neck friction.”

Drac was so pleased, and thanked her sincerely.
Centuries of night shifts had made him quite weary.
“How can I ever repay you, my dear?”
“Dinner and a movie — the theater’s near.”

So Count Dracula and Frankenstein’s daughter, Fay,
Got a bite to eat the old-fashioned way.
No necks were bitten, no blood was lost.
They got along splendidly and split the meal’s cost.

After the movie — “Batman,” you know –
He brought her back home on a wolf, white as snow.
Doc Frankenstein waited, scowl on his face
And like all fathers do, he got on her case.

But that didn’t stop Fay and Count Drac,
Cured and reformed, the next night he came back.
They dated three months, it was more than a fling,
And on September the First, he gave her a ring.

They married on Halloween, because monsters can.
Igor played the violin and stood in as best man.
Frankenstein didn’t come, he was simply too busy
Bringing monsters to life, hair all frizzy.

The creatures broke loose, as creatures will do,
And ran amok through the village, and tore up the zoo.
Each villager was ready, with pitchfork and torch
To march on the castle and set fire to its porch.

But Drac stepped in with a call to his dogs
Who chased the poor monsters right into a bog.
They caged them and made them a new tourist trap,
People paid to see — it put the town on the map.

After that, Doc and Drac made amends,
More than just in-laws, they became fast friends.
Nine months later, almost to the night,
Drac and Fran had a baby, with a big overbite.

Frankula, they call her, a beautiful child
With tiny bat-wings that flit ’round wild.
But when she gets hungry, you’d better stand back
Unless you want to be her late-night snack!

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2 Responses to “What if Dr. Seuss wrote horror?”

  1. on 01 Dec 2008 at 1.dr.angel said …

    ha that’s funny i wish they worte the story like a book about grinch night that would be awsome!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. on 11 Feb 2010 at 2.Cassandra Dalton said …

    This is so much better then Dr. Suess, there are WAY less forced rhymes made up with whimsical words. You should publish it. Under the name of Chris Gillihcs.

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